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"You have got to be shitting me." Alex heard the all-too-familiar voice and froze, then another voice piped up and he swallowed the expletive he'd been about to say. "Mommy, that man said a bad word!" "Yes, he did, baby. Shame on him!" Alex had to turn and look. A young blonde woman and an even younger and blonder little girl were skewering Walter Skinner with matching stares of disapproval... and Walter Skinner was actually blushing. Alex bit down on his lower lip, trying not to laugh out loud. No sense in pouring kerosene on a gasoline fire, after all. "Sorry, ma'am, miss," Skinner said gruffly, and the young woman sniffed. "I should think so. Remember where you are next time, why don't you," she said, as she and the little girl swept past Skinner, their chins at identical offended angles as they moved a bit further down the aisle. Alex wrapped his arms around himself and chewed on his tongue, breathing through his nose until that mad urge to giggle subsided. "I thought you were dead, Krycek," Skinner said, looking at him sourly from several feet away. Alex had to clear his throat before he could speak. "You tried hard enough, Wally. Sorry to disappoint you." The young woman gasped, having apparently overheard, and Alex was back to biting his lip. Just the look on Skinner's face was almost enough to send him into hysterics... although he wasn't sure if he wanted to laugh or cry. Skinner looked so disappointed to see him alive. Didn't Walter know the fucking war was over? "What the he- what are you doing here?" "Same thing you are, I expect. William Mulder's Christmas present." Skinner gave him that over-the-eyeglasses-what-are-you-smoking-agent glare that he'd perfected as Assistant Director. Despite Skinner's casual attire, it was still effective. Alex tried mightily to ignore the way Skinner looked in faded blue jeans and a soft gray Georgetown sweatshirt that virtually caressed those big shoulders and clung to that chest. Hot. Damn. Hot. It was damned hot in here. Yeah. "You don't expect me to believe you're on their Christmas card list, do you, Krycek?" Suddenly tired of this little drama, Alex lifted his head and glared back. "I don't expect anything from you, Skinner. I never did." He spun on his heels and started to stalk off, brought up short when Skinner grabbed his arm. His new left arm, courtesy of the rebel healers. "Hold it, boy-" Muscle memory reacted on pure instinct, just the way he'd been trained, and he was too undone to catch himself. He stomped one bootheel down on the top of Skinner's foot as his right elbow came back and up. It was a move that might have cost Skinner some teeth if the older man hadn't already let him go... which may have been fueled as much by the little blonde girl's scream as by Alex's actions, Alex had to admit. Skinner backed off a few steps, limping and cursing under his breath. "Do you want me to call the police, sir?" The woman asked Alex, cell phone in one hand while she consoled the little girl with the other. "I clearly saw this man start it." "I should let her," Alex told Skinner irritably, before looking past him to smile his best smile for the ladies. "Thank you, but that won't be necessary. You know how it is after a bad break-up... oh, but I'm sure you don't. A man would have to be a fool to let you get away." Skinner was turning an interesting shade of red by the time Alex looked back at him. "Don't touch me. Don't talk to me, don't even think of me, and don't ever call me boy again, old man," he ordered roughly, keeping his voice low despite his anger. "You don't know me. You never did." "Krycek-" "Thank you for your help. Have a merry Christmas," Alex said to the two blondes and walked away. There was more than one fucking Toys-R-Us in the metro area. ~*~*~*~*~*~ "You've got to be shitting me." An hour and a half later found Walter Skinner repeating himself, this time in the Mulders' living room. "Mommy, Uncle Walter said a bad word." "Yes, I know, Will. Take Frank and go up to your room and play, please." A mutinous lower lip stuck out. "You just don't want me to hear you yell at Daddy and Uncle Walter." "You're right. Now, do what I said." Feet dragging in defiant scuffles, Will Mulder took his pug Frank upstairs, and when his bedroom door snicked shut, Dana Scully Mulder turned a pair of frosty blue eyes on her husband and her former boss. "Dana-" "Shut up, both of you, and make some effort to act your age instead of Will's. I knew Alex was in town-" "Alex? Scully-" "I said shut up." Arms settled across a lush bosom and a small foot tapped out that you're-on-my-last-damned-nerve warning that only a woman can do so frighteningly well... and neither Skinner nor Mulder dared disregard it. "Now, as I was saying. I knew Alex was in D.C. He and I talk on the phone every couple of weeks, and I knew he was planning to give Will a Christmas present. If I don't have a problem with any of that, I fully expect you gentlemen to suck it up and deal. Just who do you think is responsible for bringing that little boy home? Who do you think made sure he was protected while he was gone? Who do you think supplied the evidence that helped get Mulder's conviction overturned? Who do you think led the human resistance and ended the war?" "He killed my father," Mulder said with the same mutinous pout that his son carried off much more effectively, if his wife's exasperated snort was any indication. "Alex killed the man who sold your sister to the Consortium, and just happened to have saved your life by doing it, Mulder. Get over it." "What about your sister, Dana?" Walter asked gently. "Melissa was my sister, Walter, and if I can forgive Alex for what happened to her then neither of you have the right to hold it against him. You've never talked to him, either of you. You've never asked him why he did some of the things he did, what his reasons were, what he was fighting for. There's a lot you don't know. And if we're going to dredge up ancient history, who do you think got me to the hospital after I was abducted?" "Shit," Walter said, pulling off his glasses and pinching the bridge of his nose. "I had no idea. I thought he was dead. Dana, I thought I killed him. Why didn't you tell me? Why didn't either of you tell me he was alive?" "Because I knew you'd be upset and it didn't occur to me that you would just run into him." Dana sat down beside Walter and looked at him sadly. "Mulder didn't want to keep it from you. That was my doing. You're both my friends and I was trying to protect you." "Well, I didn't know you were speaking to dear old Alex so regularly," Mulder put in with an audible sneer. "I thought he probably was dead after that last push by the colonists." "He almost was," Dana said. "The rebel aliens got him out and healed him." "They gave him back his arm," Walter almost whispered, remembering. He'd yanked his hand back like it had been burned, and he could still feel the way that flesh had yielded to his grip. Firm as the muscle had been, it was nothing like the impervious sensation of hard plastic. "Yes, he told me they did," Dana said with a smile. Mulder sniffed, and she frowned at him. "I would think you'd be happy for him, Mulder, since it was partially your fault he lost it in the first place." "Is that what he told you? It wasn't my-" "No, Alex never blamed you. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that." Mulder grimaced. "Are we finished canonizing the ratbastard?" "I'm not suggesting Alex is a candidate for sainthood, Mulder. He's a stubborn, temperamental jackass just like every other man I know. What I am saying is, he had reasons, he made hard choices, he fixed what he could, and it's time to let the rest go. Alex loves Will, in his way, and no child can have too many people in his life who love him. If you can't agree on anything else, at least you should be able to agree on that." "I don't know, Dana. I don't know if I can get past the nanocytes," Walter said quietly, sliding his glasses back on and giving Dana a level stare. "You're alive, Walter. He could have left you dead. Spender had him thrown into a Tunisian jail for bringing you back," she informed him before she stood and went to Mulder. They looked at each other for a long minute, then Mulder opened his arms and pulled her into an embrace. "We need to talk, but we're okay. I'll even play nice with the rat," he said in a tone of great long-suffering. "It's not like you're asking him to Christmas dinner, after all." "That's a great idea, Mulder," Dana said with an evil grin. "You'll be here too, won't you, Walter?" Both men groaned. ~*~*~*~*~*~ "Dana, have you lost your damned mind?" "Don't curse at me, Alex." "I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I just- this has got to be the worst idea I've ever heard, and since I am the king of bad ideas, I should know." "Fine, your highness, we'll see you around eleven. Will can open your gift when you get here, so you can watch, and we'll plan on eating at one." "Dana, no. I can't. I don't want to ruin-" "I want you here, Alex." "You can't tell me Mulder's going along with this insane plan." "Mulder realizes that he may have misjudged some of your actions due to his tendency towards tunnel-vision where you're concerned. He accepts that it's time to let the past go, and he's promised to be a perfect host." "Or else, huh." "Yes, that, too." "Look, Dana, I appreciate the invitation, but-" "It's Christmas, Alex. How can I enjoy myself knowing you're all alone?" "You don't need to worry about me." "Will wants to see you." "Christ, bring out the big guns. Please, don't ask me to do this. It'll be a disaster. Mulder will probably punch me and I'll bleed all over your best linen tablecloth and traumatize the kid. And won't your mother be there?" "Mom's in San Diego." "Then why the he- why aren't you going to your brother's too?" "They were all here at Thanksgiving. Besides, you know he can't stand Mulder. They take potshots at each other the entire time they're together." "I rest my case." "Alex, pleeeeease say you'll come." "Oh God, Dana, don't whine." "Please, Alex, it's important to me. It's Will's first Christmas at home since... everything." "All the more reason why I shouldn't be there." "He wouldn't be here if it weren't for you, and it's my Christmas, too." "Shit. And I'm not sorry I said it. I may even say it again. Shit, shit, shit. You're ruthless, you know that?" "It's been said." "Shit. Fine. I'll think about it." "I want a positive yes, Alex." "You're pushing, Scully." "Yes I am, Krycek." "Then you get a positive maybe, and that's the best I can do. I'll call you in a day or two and let you know for sure. Gotta go now, places to see, people to kill." "As if. Bye, Alex." "Bye, Dana. Give Wills a kiss for me." Scully turned off the digital recorder and regarded her husband with one perfect eyebrow arched high. "Well?" "You know if he finds out Skinner's gonna be here there's no way he'll come. He may not come anyway," Mulder said resignedly, part of him still marveling at the easy give and take of that conversation. His wife and Krycek really were friends, and he had to wonder just when Scully had wrapped Alex Krycek around her little finger. The man couldn't even bring himself to give her a flat no. Apparently, and it was a sobering thought, he and Krycek had a lot in common. "That's why we aren't going to tell him, and that's why you're going to his hotel room and invite him personally." "Why is this so important to you?" "Because it's time for Alex and Walter to put this behind them, get past it, and move on with their lives, Mulder." Hearing the implication in that tone, Fox Mulder gaped at his wife, so completely astonished he failed to notice his son walk into the room. "Fuck, Scully! Krycek's right, you have lost your damned mind!" "Ommm, Daddy! Mommy, Daddy said two bad words!" ~*~*~*~*~*~ Somehow, Alex wasn't surprised by the banging on the door of his hotel suite. "Open up, Krycek! I need to talk to you!" Of course, Mulder would come. It remained to be seen whether he was here on his own behalf, in which case, Alex should be armed, or if he was here to plead Scully's case for Christmas dinner... and since the latter seemed unlikely, at best, Alex tucked his Glock into the back of his jeans before he opened the door. "Hello, Mulder," Alex said with a sigh, taken aback when a pizza box was shoved into his hands. "What's this?" "It's lunch. What the fuck does it look like, Skippy?" Mulder said, shoving past him to plop down on the sofa, trading a six-pack of beer for the TV remote that had been innocently sitting on the coffee table. He selected ESPN before opening a beer, and only then looked up at Alex, who was still standing beside the door. "Well, sit down, the game's about to start. Bring the pizza." "The whole damned world's gone mad," Alex announced as he closed the door. He carried the pizza over and set it beside the beer, and after due consideration, sat down and popped the top on a can, chugging half the contents down like a man who wanted something stronger. Much stronger. Vodka? Pure grain alcohol? Ativan? Crack? "It's Scully's fault. I told her she'd lost her damned mind," Mulder reported, getting out a piece of pizza and eating it down to the crust. "I told her the same thing," Alex said, putting the cold can against his forehead. "Uh, Mulder, you're not on anything, are you?" "Uh, no," Mulder mocked cheerfully. "Have some pizza, Krycek, and stop trying to make sense of it all. The only thing you need to know is, yes, I am pussy-whipped, and I'll thank you not to throw it in my face. The only thing I need to know is, are you coming to Christmas dinner, because if you're not, you might as well get me a pillow and a blanket." "Shit." "Word." They'd watched the first quarter, finished the pizza, and had another beer before either spoke again. "'Word', Mulder?" "Hey, I'm down with the 'hood, Krycek." At halftime, Alex set his gun on the end table; an action not remarked upon by Mulder, who merely handed him a third beer. "So, is it fear of making her angry or fear of disappointing her?" Alex asked idly during the kickoff that began the third quarter. "She's scary when she's angry... but definitely, fear of disappointing her." "Yeah. I didn't expect to like her so much, you know," Alex wryly confessed, feeling Mulder's eyes on his face as he stared resolutely at the TV. "You aren't harboring some secret passion for my wife, are you, Krycek?" Genuinely startled, Alex finally looked at Mulder directly, surprised to find his former partner actually seemed concerned. "Mulder, I'm gay. I thought you knew." "Oh. Huh. That's okay, then." A long pause, then, "You aren't harboring some secret passion for me, are you?" and Alex had to laugh at that rather worried tone. "You're a good looking guy, Mulder, but, no. Sorry," he managed, taken aback when Mulder started laughing, too. "Gee, my heart is breaking here, Krycek." "Yeah, right." They finished watching the game in a much more companionable silence, and when the last minute of the game went into dueling time-outs, Mulder rose to leave. "I think I've successfully demonstrated that I can spend several hours in your company without resorting to bloodshed, so we'll expect to see you on Christmas Day around eleven." "Damn." Alex leaned his head back on the sofa and stared up at the ceiling. "I've been played." "Yup." "Why?" He wondered, frustrated, baffled, and convinced he must have fallen into a rabbit hole somewhere. It would be so nice if something made sense for a change. "Why is this so important to her? Why are you going along with her? I'll just leave town and FedEx the kid's gift." "Oh no you won't, Krycek. She wants you there, and it's my job to make sure she gets what she wants. You owe her and... I owe you," Mulder admitted reluctantly, amused by the shell-shocked expression his words produced. "She likes you. She considers you a friend, and... You're not so bad... when you're not manipulating people or killing them." "I give up. Shit. Fine, I'll be there. Jesus." "You promise?" "You'd believe me if I did?" Raw disbelief in that question, and Mulder smirked. "When it comes to Scully and Will? Yeah, oddly enough." Feeling uncomfortably exposed, Alex covered his eyes with one arm. "I promise," he muttered irritably. "Go away now. Tell her that I'll bring wine or something." "You can tell her when you call her. I think white goes with turkey," Mulder commented thoughtfully, a smile in his voice that Alex could hear. "Thanks, Emeril, for that lesson in fine dining." Laughing, Mulder left, and Alex was sure he could hear him snickering all the way down the hall. Christmas dinner with the Mulders. When was the last time he'd had Christmas dinner with a family? His mother had died when he was so young he could barely remember her, which had resulted in his father's vigorous efforts to find consolation in the bottom of a bottle. Hell, half the time his dad hadn't even been sober enough to remember his name, calling him 'boy' in the same scornful tone Skinner liked to use. They'd certainly never made a point of celebrating the holidays. God, what had he let himself in for? ~*~*~*~*~*~ "Don't bother saying it. I'm not shitting you," Mulder said, not at all surprised when Skinner belted down his scotch and waved at the bartender for another. "He doesn't know you're going to be there." "I'm not," Skinner decided. "I just dug my way out of the doghouse and I'm not going back in, so if you're too big a chicken to show up for dinner then you can be the one to call Scully and tell her, Walt." "You're out of your damned mind," Skinner growled. Mulder shrugged. "Apparently there's a lot of that going around." "Who the hell are you calling a chicken, anyway." "Brawk, brawk." "Shit." "That was Krycek's word for it." "Hell." Walter sighed, drained his second scotch, and gave serious thought to going to the Bahamas until after New Year's. It wasn't like he didn't have enough vacation time saved up. Maybe he could find a job while he was down there and avoid ever having to face Scully again. Avoid having to face Alex Krycek. Avoid those hypnotic green eyes and that whiskey smooth voice and the lithe, dangerous flex of those hard muscles... "Fuck." Mulder rolled his eyes. Now that Scully had piqued his profiler's curiosity with her subtly delivered suspicion, he was starting to draw a few inferences of his own, based on past events and present conduct. Skinner's reaction to - and Krycek's pointed failure to mention - the other man was definitely... suspect. "You've got a real potty mouth, Sir." "I'd better get it out of my system before Will calls me on it again. This is going to be a disaster. You know that." "Yeah, Krycek said that, too. Amazing how much the two of you have in common." Dark eyes pinned him in a wrathful glare. "What are you implying, Agent Mulder?" Enormously thankful that he wasn't, in fact, Skinner's agent any more, Mulder grinned broadly. "Deep down, I think you know, Walt." "You have got to be shitting me." ~*~*~*~*~*~ "Oh, my God. God. Damn, you're so good at that." "I love you, Mulder. Call it a thank you." "Mmm, Scully. Love you, too. Keep rewarding me like that and I'll end world hunger and bring peace to the Middle East, too." "If we can pull this off, we'll make that our next project, okay?" "Whatever you want, baby." "So Walter's... interested?" "He's definitely... interested. How did you know?" "Intuition?" "Scully." "I just- promise me this will stay between us. Walter would be furious if he knew." "Of course, I promise." "Spender said something to me once that implied Walter isn't exclusively heterosexual." "Shit, you're not kidding, he'd be furious... It doesn't necessarily follow that he'd be interested in Krycek, though, given their history. So what made you think-" "There's just something about the way he reacts to Alex, and they're both so lonely. They really do have a lot in common. Who else is going to understand what they've been through?" "Scully, you just want everybody to be as happy as we are." "You're right about that, Mulder... so, make me happy." "There's an order I can get behind... literally." "Oh! Yes, do that again!" ~*~*~*~*~*~ Christmas Day dawned clear and cold, much to Alex's dismay. He'd been hoping for a blizzard or an ice storm. Anything that would make the streets impassable. Then he remembered how much he was actually looking forward to seeing the littlest Mulder. When the hell had he become such a sap? Must have been during the time he'd spent with the kid, between having rescued him from the clutches of Consortium operatives and delivering him safely into Dana's arms. His memory of the look on her face still gave him a rush. He'd felt almost... heroic... and he'd carried that feeling with him through the end of the war. It had sustained him every bit as much as his hopeless devotion to Walter Skinner - maybe even more, because it had been so good to do something good, for a change. He'd been positively inspired to drive off the colonists... to make the world safe for the kid. Mulder was right. He did owe Dana, and he'd get through this somehow. He'd just have to keep his mouth shut - and keep his cool - no matter what was said. But he wasn't stupid, and he knew very well that Walter was probably going to be there, and this was going to be one of the hardest things he'd ever had to endure. He caught himself rubbing at his left upper arm and wondered, not for the first time, how it was possible to feel phantom pain when the limb was there. ~*~*~*~*~*~ "Mommy! Mommy! Lex is here!" "Wait for me by the door, Will." Grabbing Mulder and Skinner by their arms, she positioned them at the front window where her impatient son had been standing. "I want you two to watch this. Watch and learn," she ordered seriously, sliding Will's coat over his arms and yanking on her own before opening the door. So Mulder and Skinner were dutifully watching when Krycek got out of his SUV with a strained expression on his face; one that cleared miraculously into a brilliant smile when Will came barreling towards him. They both heard the little boy's excited "Lex! Lex!" "Hey, kid!" Krycek swung Will up and around in a big hug, and there was a visible, glittering sheen in Krycek's eyes as he cuddled the little boy close. "When did that happen?" Skinner asked quietly. "Will was abducted from his adoptive parents by people working for the last dregs of the Consortium. They took him to a lab and were planning to- Anyway. Krycek rescued Will and took care of him for two weeks before he could get him to where Scully was. I wasn't there, I was off following a lead," Mulder replied grimly, still shaken by all that he'd learned. Scully had related a number of details about Will's situation that he hadn't originally known, making him uncomfortably aware that he did owe Krycek, and owed him big. "She know if he went back and killed them all?" "She said he made sure it wasn't going to happen again." "Good," Skinner rumbled, watching as Krycek greeted Dana with a familiar smirk, saying something they couldn't hear, although Dana's resultant laughter was audible. "Will never mentioned Krycek to you?" "Apparently Krycek told him it would 'make daddy sad' and he should only talk to mommy about what happened." "Christ. I can't understand why Dana never told you any of this before now." "We talked about that. She pointed out that I've never been exactly sane on the subject of Alex Krycek, and she wasn't going to take the chance that I'd go ballistic and do something that would frighten Will or hurt his feelings. Excuse me." Mulder went outside and didn't miss the fact that both Scully and Krycek looked a bit apprehensive when they saw him. Krycek carefully set Will on his feet and had the air of a man about to bolt. Will gave Mulder a shining smile and ran towards him. "Look, Daddy! Lex is here!" "I see, Will. Hey... Alex. Need some help bringing something in? Something like... oh, I don't know... presents?" Mulder teased, rewarded when Will let out an excited squeal. Scully gave him one of those flirty glances that promised thoroughly pleasurable retribution later and even Krycek had to grin. "Oh, I don't know. There might be something back there," Krycek said, waving vaguely towards the rear of the SUV. Will reacted like any kid, hopping around, tugging on each adult in turn, and shouting "Wanna see! Show me! Show me!" until they were all laughing at his obvious joy. "Tell you what, Willster. You take Mommy in so she doesn't get cold, and Daddy and I will bring the presents in, okay?" Krycek finally said, crouching down to meet Will's eyes. Will cocked his head to one side and inspected him doubtfully. "That our plan, Lex?" He asked and Krycek nodded. Will craned his head around to look up at Mulder. "A man has to have a plan, Daddy," he recited what had to be a learned refrain. Mulder grinned at Will, despite his growing awareness that he'd once again been excluded from a significant part of his son's life. He wasn't being excluded now. "That's a good plan. Go on, now, before Mommy's nose turns blue and falls off." "Eww, Daddy!" "Mulder..." Scully began, plainly reluctant to leave him alone with Krycek. "Trust me, babe. Come on, Lex, I'll give you a hand." "Sure, Mulder," Alex said easily, for the kid's sake; not sure what to expect when Dana took Will's hand and led him indoors. Fishing his keys out of his coat pocket, he opened the rear hatch of the SUV, exposing one huge brightly wrapped box and a couple of smaller ones. "I can still leave these with you and go," he offered as Mulder joined him. "You could, but Will would be disappointed, Scully would be pissed off, and you'd ruin their Christmas. Besides, I'm fascinated by this side of you," Mulder admitted, surprised to find it was true. He'd never imagined Alex Krycek would be good with kids, but Will clearly adored him, and he clearly adored Will. Krycek - Alex - stared at him. "Shit, you're serious." "Yeah." Mulder chewed on his lower lip for a moment, then made a decision. "Skinner's here." Alex closed his eyes briefly. "I expected it. This is a bad idea, Mulder. Skinner hates my guts - not that I blame him - and I don't want to expose the kid to a lot of crap." "Give it a chance, Alex," Mulder found himself saying, much to his own shock, startled by the sympathy he felt for the quick flash of misery he'd caught in Alex's eyes. "He loves Will too, and he's promised to be on his best behavior." Well, that part wasn't precisely the truth, but it was close enough for government work, Mulder hoped. "I will never understand you," Alex said, shaking his head at the weirdness that was his life, now. How, exactly, had it come to pass that he of the morally low dipstick, Alex Ratbastard Krycek, found himself here, about to have Christmas Dinner with Fox Mulder, Dana Scully, and Walter Skinner? The devil must be rolling with laughter. "What is this?" Mulder asked, pulling out the largest box with a grunt of effort. "It weighs a ton." Alex smirked. "That's the kid's Christmas present. He's gonna love it." "It better not be a drum set, Krycek." "You'll see." He slid in beside Mulder and picked up the other end before nodding towards the door. "Shall we?" ~*~*~*~*~*~ Walter had decamped to the kitchen while Mulder and Krycek carried Krycek's gifts in. It wasn't cowardice, he told himself. It was - common courtesy. Yeah. Just on general principles, he took a look at the baking turkey and gave the boiling potatoes an experimental poke with a fork. Might as well make himself useful. "Is that the last of it?" He heard Dana ask, and steeling himself, walked back out into the living room just as Krycek was shedding his coat; not the usual black leather jacket, but a nice navy Burberry trench. And damn, but the rat cleaned up nice. He'd forgotten - made himself forget - how the man looked when he wasn't dressing like a thug. In gray cords and a wine-red cashmere sweater, Krycek looked like he'd stepped out of a J. Crew catalogue. It made Walter glad he'd bothered to dress well, too, in his navy blue trousers and best cream Henley. Will was introducing Krycek to his dog when Krycek noticed him standing there. No surprise showed in those deep green eyes. No emotion showed at all, and Walter sighed inwardly. Mulder was definitely out of his God-damned mind. "Krycek," he acknowledged, trying for a pleasant tone. "Skinner," Krycek said back in an absolutely colorless voice. "Lex, that's Uncle Walter," Will corrected firmly, and Walter watched with no little wonder when Krycek grinned down at the little boy and tenderly ran his fingers over that soft, strawberry hair. "Okay, Wills, whatever you say. Ask Mommy if you can open your present now." "Mommy! Can I? Can I, pleeeeeeeeeease?" "In a hurry, Lex?" Mulder murmured, sounding for all the world like he was teasing Krycek. When Walter saw Krycek roll his eyes at Mulder, he realized that somehow the two of them had already made a kind of peace. "Let me put these in the kitchen first, Will," Dana said, moving past Walter with a couple of bottles in her hands. "Thanks for the wine, Alex." "You're welcome." "Would you like some hot chocolate? Or coffee? Walter?" "Sounds good. Let me help you," Walter offered, taking the wine and heading back into the kitchen. It wasn't cowardice, no. ~*~*~*~*~*~ Will ran after Dana and Skinner - undoubtedly to hurry them along so he could get to the good stuff - which left Alex staring at the Mulders' Christmas tree and fighting to control his face. "I told you this was a bad idea. He can't even stand to be in the same room with me," he caught himself whispering to Mulder, immediately horrified by the vulnerability his words betrayed. He started for the door. "I've got to get out of here." "Alex, wait. Please," and the sheer novelty of hearing Fox Mulder say that to him froze him in his tracks. "Come on, you can do this." Jesus, the man was out of his damned mind. "Mulder-" And then Will was dashing back in and catapulting into Alex's arms, and it was too late for him to make an escape. "Lex, Mommy said- hey, Lex, your arm feels funny. Did you get a new one? How come it's not all hard like the other one was? Do you still have to strap it on with Velcro like my shoes?" "You're a noticing kind of kid, Willster. That's good." Bowing to the inevitable, Alex carried the kid over to the sofa, sat down with him, and let himself enjoy being the focus of all that energetic concern. He could just ignore Skinner, and Mulder, too, for that matter. He wasn't here to see them anyway. "Yeah, I did get a new one. It's just like the first one I had." "Can I see?" Alex shoved his sweater sleeve up his left arm to his elbow, and had to grin when Will patted his forearm curiously. "It's warm! Does it still hurt?" "Sometimes, but not when you touch it," he answered seriously, aware of a noise from the kitchen door that he pretended not to hear. Will held his left hand, bending and pulling at his fingers - much like he'd done with Alex's prosthetic - only with this hand; Alex could swoop in and tickle those ribs, startling Will into screaming laughter. "It works good, Lex!" "Good enough to open presents?" Dana asked, her voice husky as she came to sit beside them. "Yeah!" With a limber twist, Will was out of his lap and heading for the tree. "Come on, Lex!" Mulder was the only one who saw Skinner wipe his eyes. ~*~*~*~*~*~ "I can't believe you bought him a motorcycle," Dana said, giving Alex a fondly exasperated look. "It only looks like a motorcycle, Dana. It's just a battery powered riding toy. He'll have fun with it in the back yard when it warms up outside," Alex defended himself half-heartedly, grinning at her when she rolled her eyes. Still smiling, he again admired the gift Will had given him; Will's own portrait, inside a popsicle-stick frame that was gloriously adorned with glitter and stars. Perfect, as far as Alex was concerned, and the best memento he could have hoped for from this difficult day. He'd managed to convince himself to behave like this was nothing more than a tough assignment that was now coming to an end. He'd maintained his composure all through a truly interminable - albeit tasty - meal, spoken politely when he was addressed - and kept his attention mostly on the kid, who was currently tucked in for a nap. And that part of the day had been wonderful; reading Wills a story and watching those overtired blue eyes drift into sleep. While he'd been occupied there, the others had cleared away the remnants from dinner, restoring order to the Mulder kitchen. It had touched something deep down inside him to know that Dana trusted him alone with her son, binding him even further in the tangled weave of respect, admiration, and gratitude he bore her. The last person in the world who should have done it, given their history, was the one who treated him the most humanely. It was a conundrum Alex knew he'd never understand. Now they were sitting around the living room, finishing the wine. It was far more comfortable than he'd anticipated, being in the company of these people... which made him nervous, because it felt just a little like what he imagined family must feel like, and he'd be insanely stupid to let himself go there. "The black leather jacket's a bit much," Mulder remarked amusedly. "Hey, I left off the Hell's Angels patches," he pointed out, feeling rather wistfully pleased when Mulder snickered. Too much. It was all too much, and all too much of what he'd missed his entire life. It was not for him, it wasn't even real, and he had to keep reminding himself of that fact. He levered himself up to his feet. "Dana, Mulder, thank you for a lovely meal. Skinner," Alex nodded politely, forcing himself not to react when those dark eyes fixed on his face. "Oh, Alex, thank you for being here," and Dana was hugging him. He wanted, suddenly and badly, to drop to his knees, bury his face in her belly, and weep out a decade of pain. Instead, he sucked in a breath and awkwardly hugged her back, relieved when she backed off. It was a momentary reprieve, because she caught his hands and made him look at her. "There is no way I can ever thank you enough for bringing Will home and helping me get Mulder's conviction overturned. I have everything I ever wanted." She waved their joined hands around the room, a gesture that included toys, tree, dog, kid clutter, and smilingly indulgent husband. Home and family - Alex understood - but Dana wasn't finished with him yet. "You gave me this, Alex. I know you think you owed it to me, but I'd like to think we're beyond who owes what to whom, now, and can just be even. Friends." With some effort, he fought past the ache in his throat to offer her a genuine smile. He dearly loved this fierce little woman; the way he thought other men must love their mothers and sisters. Whatever she wanted that was within his power to give, he'd give. "You're the best friend I've ever had, Dana. Merry Christmas." He bent and kissed her on the cheek. "Thank you again for inviting me," he said, freeing his hands, turning to go. And there was Mulder, standing outrageously hipshot in his jeans and green Rudolph sweatshirt, one hand stuck out. Alex felt his eyes widen and wondered if he'd gone out of his own damned mind, especially when Mulder shook his hand and thanked him for coming. Then Mulder's next words soaked in. "Say, Alex, can you do us a favor and run Walt home? Dana picked him up this morning on her way back from church and it'll be hard to get a cab on Christmas Day." Jesus, Mary, Joseph, and all the saints. Absolutely forbidding himself to react negatively, he gave an artless shrug and a casual "Sure, no problem." It would only be a problem if he let it. "I'll go warm up the truck." ~*~*~*~*~*~ Walter spared an irritated glare for Mulder as he shouldered into his coat, feeling rather like an inconvenience that had to be handled. His former agent gave him a level look. "Don't fuck it up, Walt." "That's your advice?" "It's good advice," Dana said, and hugged him. "He doesn't want-" "That's where you're wrong," Mulder interrupted. "He wants you so much it scares the shit out of him, and he handles it the only way he knows how, he shuts down." Christ. He and Krycek were even, then, because this whole thing scared him, too. "Profiled that, did you?" He asked sarcastically, startled when Mulder also hugged him. Sometimes he forgot how much being happy had changed this man. "Yeah, I did, actually," Mulder said complacently. "Thanks for coming, Walt, and you'd better get out there before he leaves without you." "Right." ~*~*~*~*~*~ "That was subtle," Dana said when Walter had gone. She and Mulder collapsed together onto the sofa, determined to enjoy the last few moments of peace and quiet before Will woke from his nap. Mulder put his arms around her and sighed. "They needed a push. You were right. They're both lonely and they could be good for each other, but-" "But it's more than that. You saw it, didn't you?" "You mean the way they feel about each other? Yeah." He chewed his lip. "If it goes south I'm not sure Krycek will survive it, Dana." She winced. Mulder only used her first name when he was seriously worried or the situation was dire. "Did I do the wrong thing?" "You gave them a chance. We'll just have to have some faith in Walt now." Footsteps pattered down the stairs, and Will appeared, wearing the black leather motorcycle jacket Krycek had given him. "Look, Daddy, just like Lex!" Mulder could only laugh. ~*~*~*~*~*~ "You still in the same place?" Alex asked before the silence in the vehicle could make him start screaming. "You don't know?" Skinner said, and Alex felt himself flinch, because he did know. Of course he knew. He'd kept tabs on Skinner over the last few years, just like he had Mulder, Scully, and Will... and it had been lucky for Will that he had. He'd never been able to justify any good reason for monitoring Skinner, though, and he didn't want to admit to doing it. Keeping his mouth shut, he drove towards the suburb where Skinner had bought a fixer-upper last year. The area boasted a number of recently remodeled older homes, and Alex wondered what it was like to take something that had been falling apart from neglect and make it look new and pristine. No reason why he couldn't do that. No reason to keep drifting around from hotel room to hotel room. He had more money than he'd ever spend in one lifetime. He could start again, a million miles away. Find out who he was and what he wanted, now that the war was over. What he wanted. Shit. So near his fingers twitched to grab, and more fool him. He pulled into the narrow driveway, refused to admire the spare, clean lines of Skinner's house, and kept his restless fingers on the steering wheel. "Here you go." "Come in and let me show you around." He stared at Skinner then, taken aback. "You're joking." "No joke, Kry- Alex. I'd really like you to come inside. Sit with me. Have a drink. Talk." Skinner cleared his throat and steeled his considerable nerve. "I do think we need to talk. Clear the air." Skinner had taken off his glasses, and those frequently impenetrable eyes looked almost vulnerable, locking onto Alex's, as he added, "You said I never knew you... I'd like to." Walter watched the words move through Alex and saw the moment that Alex shut himself down and decided to shove Walter out... but Mulder's words had worked on Walter during the drive home, and he wasn't willing to be shoved. So he braced himself internally, and was prepared for the ice that frosted those green eyes, the derisive smirk that twisted those pretty lips and the sneering words that followed. "Wally, Wally. Of course you know me. I'm the thug who lied to you, betrayed your department, then tortured, killed, and blackmailed you with the nanocytes. The cold-blooded assassin you thought you were murdering in the Hoover's parking garage. Sorry that was just a clone, old man, but you already know everything you need to know about Alex Krycek. Now, get out." "No. I don't know the Alex Krycek who would walk through fire for Dana Mulder or the one who saved her son's life and brought him home. I don't know the Alex Krycek who loves that child enough to help clear his father's name. I don't know the Alex who's making a friend out of Fox Mulder or the Alex who went to a Tunisian prison because he didn't follow orders and leave me dead. I need to know that Alex. Will you help me? Help me get to know you?" If Walter just hadn't asked, Alex thought helplessly. He could have defended himself against demands or orders. He could have dismissed today as another hard lesson in a lifetime of them, could have blown off the entire last week as an exercise in stupidity, put it behind him, and moved on. But Walter asked and Alex couldn't remember the last time Walter had asked him for anything, not even his own life. "Why?" He asked, and even he couldn't have said what he really wanted to know. Why do you care, why are you bothering, why are you doing this, why is this happening and why should I bother when you can't possibly believe me - believe in me - accept me. Forgive me. "Why?" Walter extended an open hand, resting it palm up on the console between their seats, and held his breath. Alex's mouth trembled faintly as he lowered his hand from the wheel and laid it palm to palm against Walter's. Walter couldn't hold back a sigh, twining their fingers together. Alex's hand was cold, and he'd turned his face away. "Once upon a time, I met a young man who intrigued me, not just because he was beautiful to look at, but because he was smart, sharp, and had so much life in his eyes that I had to watch him so I could figure out what I was missing. The years passed, and the life in those eyes began to fade, beaten out of him by time, by circumstances, by his fight against impossible odds... and even by me. I'd lie in my bed at night, knowing I'd let a priceless treasure slip through my fingers, and I'd wish I could go back in time and do things differently. See that man again." Walter shifted in his seat so he could face Alex more directly, drawing the focus of those remarkable green eyes; wet and shining like rain on summer leaves. "I saw that man today. I saw you. I saw all the life in your eyes that I used to envy, and you're still beautiful to me, Alex. What's done is done, and we can leave the past where it belongs. I don't want to look back ten years from now, knowing I wasted another chance." In the interests of making his intentions clear, Walter lifted Alex's fingers to his lips and held them there. "Jesus, Walter, you- I- I-" "Would you consider keeping company with a middle-aged, bald, soon-to-be-retired bureaucrat whose idea of a good time is getting up at four to go fishing at dawn?" Walter asked without moving Alex's hand. He watched a tiny smile catch at the corner of Alex's mouth, spreading slowly until it reached his eyes, lightening them to pure jade, alive and glittering. "I like to fish," Alex admitted almost shyly. Utterly charmed, Walter smiled back. "Yeah?" "Yeah. Haven't done it in a while, though... there are a lot of things I haven't done in a while." "Good. We'll do them together and it will feel new to both of us," Walter announced firmly, lowering their joined hands and cupping his free one around Alex's jaw. He had just enough time to see the shock in those eyes before he tasted that mouth, and it did feel new; like the first time he'd ever kissed someone he loved. Alex's lips parted under his with a low moan, and the sound went straight to his groin as he dipped inside and savored the sweet flavor of the man. Alex's tongue stroked his in return, taking his breath, and they lingered over the kiss for what seemed like a long, long time before finally parting. Alex looked stunned. It was a good look on him, Walter decided. "Come in with me. Stay with me." Slowly gathering the fragments of his scattered consciousness, Alex stared into Walter's beautiful dark eyes, noticing the high color in that strong face and the way those sculpted lips were flushed and swollen. Fuck, he was toast. "How long?" He wondered with his last shred of self-preservation. Walter grinned, melting Alex's heart all over again. He could count on the fingers of his original hand how many times he'd seen that expression. "The way I see it, we've got what, ten, twelve years to make up for, with interest, which ought to take us up to... hmm, 2028. We'll discuss it after that." Alex blinked. "Must be a hell of an interest rate." "One hundred percent," Walter declared. "You good for it?" His stomach felt funny, and it occurred to Alex it might be happiness. Thinking maybe he ought to let some of it out before he exploded, he laughed, amazed when Walter's gaze softened. "I'm good. Let's go in, old man." "I'll show you old, boy," Walter Skinner said, and for the first time in Alex's life, hearing that word didn't hurt. ~*~*~*~*~*~ It took him a minute to fumble for his cell phone, and he grinned when he saw the Caller ID, very aware of the warmth spooned behind him and the heavy arm across his chest. "Mmm, yeah?" "Alex? It's Dana. Did I wake you?" "Yeah, but that's okay. What's up?" "Me," Walter whispered behind him, leisurely rubbing the proof against his ass. Alex pushed back, barely restraining a breathy sigh. "I just wanted to make sure you were all right." "I'm fine, Dana." "Yes, you are," Walter murmured, that big hand sliding down his chest and over his stomach to squeeze his own morning erection. He groaned involuntarily before he remembered Dana was on the phone. "Alex! Are you sure you're all right?" "F-fine! 'M fine! Oh, God," he gasped when Walter jacked him, thumb gliding over the head of his cock. "Tru- trust me! Never been better!" "Oh, it'll get better," Walter promised, slightly raising his voice. Dana, hearing him, started laughing joyfully. "I'm so glad. Call me later," she managed between sputtering giggles. "Yea- ah! Yeah! I'll do that!" "After you do me," Walter reminded, licking the back of his neck. Dana was still laughing when he finally turned off the phone. THE END |
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